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MY WISH LIST
Excel in My O'levels, fossil or adidas watch (silver strap),new handphone, new discman, new shoes, westlife concert tics in july and LOVE..
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| memories consumed..like opening a wound.. |
| 04.12.04 (7:30 am) [edit] |
temper is easy to release but difficult to retrieve ...
will i ever lose you again..???
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| freaky friday...i'm sick.. |
| 04.09.04 (8:30 pm) [edit] |
i'm not sure if i saw that [i]'something'[/i] that i shouldn't have last night at east coast and a normal person would not like it if they see it..hope that was jus an illusion.. i felt so sicked last night..and something was goin wrong in me....i sms-ed my other friend to say that i'm feeling strange..i just wanted to get home quickly..i felt weird ...
My head was pulsating perplexedly when i was sleeping last night... a fever and a more intensed sore throat followed..i didn't turn up for chinese lessons this morning..
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| cheer up.. |
| 04.03.04 (5:47 am) [edit] |
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jus wanna say that whatever happens...i will be always be around..you are not alone..=)
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| =) |
| 03.26.04 (5:23 am) [edit] |
kekex..it's been a long time since i've planted my entry here..so here goes..
ok..as usual..consultation every friday..without faiL..If Miss poh is to cancel the consultation..the sky will collapse..and i can vouch for that.. :wink: and then after that, met xiwen and co. at the busstop..she let me listened to a sick ringtone..of her moaning with satisfaction and excitment ..ya noe wad i meant lah hor..kekex :wink: and then i was like..[i]'ahemz..wad the heck!! Hear no evil'..[/i]and pushed her away..hehe..she's forever polluting my mind...bleh..
Hope i will pass my maths this coming monday... 8) *keepin fingers crossed* =X :(
my leg hurts... :(
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| thoughts... |
| 03.17.04 (5:29 am) [edit] |
Best FRiends may not be your true friends.
True friends may not necessary be your best
friends..
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| this is how i feel for the past 2 hours... |
| 03.12.04 (11:53 pm) [edit] |
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black, bleeding, blue, bummed out, cheerless, crestfallen, crummy, depressed, despondent, disconsolate, dismal, dispirited, down, downbeat, downcast, dragged, dreary, gloomy, grim, heavy-hearted, hurting, in pain, let down, long-faced, low, melancholy, mirthless, miserable, oppressive, put away, ripped, sad, saddened, sorrowful, annoyed, antagonized, bitter, chafed, choleric, convulsed, cross, displeased, enraged, exacerbated, exasperated, ferocious, fierce, fiery, fuming, furious, galled, hateful, heated, hot, huffy, ill-tempered, impassioned, indignant, inflamed, infuriated, irascible, irate, ireful, irritable, irritated, maddened, nettled, offended, outraged, passionate, piqued, provoked, raging, resentful, riled, sore, splenetic, storming, sulky, sullen, uptight, vexed,teary, troubled
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| mixed... |
| 02.28.04 (10:06 pm) [edit] |
:( :( :( :( :( :? :? :? :( :( :? :? :cry: :cry: :( :cry: :? :cry: :( :? :cry: :( :? :cry: :( :? :cry: :x :x :x :( :cry: :? :x :( :( :x :cry: :? :( :cry: :x :( :cry: :x :( :( :? :cry: :( :x :( :( :cry: :( :x :cry: :( :x :( :cry: :( :x :( :cry: :( :cry: :? :( :x :cry: :? :( :x :cry: :( :( :? :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :x :x :( :cry: :x :( :cry: :cry: :( :? :x :( :? :x :( :? :x :? :( :cry: :( :? :x :? :( :x :cry: :? :( :x :cry: :( :? :x :cry: :( :x :cry: :? :? :? :(
words failed me..but not emotions..
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| Pixilated... |
| 02.26.04 (6:31 am) [edit] |
WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WHT WTF WTF WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH WTF WTH!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!arG H!!!!!!!
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| wad THE HELL and F***!! |
| 02.26.04 (3:58 am) [edit] |
What the [b]HECK[/b] and[b] Fu** [/b]is going around today!!???
i feel so weak inside and so uneasy..both mentally and physically...everything went just so wrong..in school and at home..feeling so constrained..wanted to cry out loud but i couldn't..something is stopping me. ..i was supposed to know all the answers to the tests today..chinese and chemistry..but i didn't..i left blanks..Chinese, supposed to be my best..and yet i messed it up..leaving blanks and just put my head on the desk and sleep..waiting for the bell to go at 12.20pm..totally disregard of whether i should think and go thru the questions once more...
Lethargic...lacking the energy and initiative to even flip the book and do my work..thought that i could calm and settle myself down when i reached home..but who would have known..when i stepped into the house..everything was silence..it was so different from the other normal days..pa was at home..staring at the tv angrily..ma, in the kitchen, sat silently beside the table..eyes were red and watery..i pondered..was it because of my sis again?? or something else..i dare not ask..but i was angry..angry at pa for making ma sad ..angry at sis for making then unhappy yet again..(if it was really becos of her)..angry at myself for not helping and for everything and anything..ma went out after that..and pa..smoking in the kitchen..i slammed hard at the door to release myself for the uncomfortness inside me..for the endless anger..pa did not say nor do anything..silence filled the house..when ma hadn't got home after a couple of hours..i began to think of all the unfavourable things..if there's any untoward happens to her..i will not be able to forgive myself..Sounds of the tingling of the key were heard..and i knew it was ma..i knew it was her.i always have this kind of instinct when ma is near me..or coming towards me without me knowing..sure..i knew it's her..and that couldn't be wrong..i was relieved to see her again..and i can't imagine what life will be without her..
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| repressed.. |
| 02.24.04 (4:10 am) [edit] |
My parents are gonna transfer my sis from dunearn sec sch to assumption english school...dunnoe whether that's true or not...they said that in this way..she will not be late for school again and i can monitor her and take care of her...what kind of big joke is this??!! i can't even look after myself and expect me to look out for her..sometimes i reckon that my parents are just doing too much for her...but she upset them time and again with different problems each time..I wouldn't like it if she was being told off or screamed her head off by Mr Tan or Mr Lam...and also, my parents planned to move to Pandan Gardens after my o'levels..for her sake also...my cousin can monitor her studies (ok..mine as well...duh!!) as well as counsel her..(is it of any use?? dun think so..) cos my cousin is a maths lecturer in SP and quite good in counselling people..
sometimes..i keep telling my parents that if my sister really wants to change wholeheartedly..she would have done it earlier..and not capable of producing so many troubles...and they are doing so much for her...and she doesn't realise that...(c'mon!! wake up will ya??!!) and each time i sit down and talk to her...we always end up quarelling...she doesn't know what's good for her...sometimes at night..i could hear my parents talking about how they should do with her...even though she heard them...she took it that nothing has happened nor heard...and when my pa gets really mad at her..nothing could be done to calm the storm...the roof will collapse if he really screams..and he would sometimes mention that if my sis is not gonna to change..especially in her attitude...he will have to let the govt take care of her..that is by sending her to some girls' home or something..sometimes..i think that this maybe the best solution for her...because most of the people who came out from there..have mostly turn a new leaf and leading a more meaningful life than they had in the past...
Whatever's my parents' plans are, i won't object to it..cos i think that their answers to my sis would be the the best for her sake...and they have already fulfilled their duties and had done as far as they possibly can..
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| blur, blurer and the blurest in the whole wide world... |
| 02.23.04 (12:14 am) [edit] |
ok..today..didn't know why i was laughing so much in school today..perhaps i went bonkers...ok..i did one thing that no one in the world could possibly have done..
i must really say..i was not intentional!!!! i splurted out the so-called 'secret', oblivious to may ann's presence and i swear..it was UNINTENTIONALLY!!! But, she also needs to know it sooner or later, it is only just a matter of time when her birthday comes...haiz...take it as though i was just hinting her ..alrights?? :lol: i know i'm blur..you do not need to remind me..(to jingyuan if u happened to read this..alrites?) =P
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| thanks for the nan wang de bday.. |
| 02.22.04 (4:39 am) [edit] |
thanks sharilyn,chinyan,singyan, libing,cindy,wanxin,kengs iang,louis,jingyuan,wei chin and adrian (thou i got qian bai ge bu yuan yi...but for the sake of that mentos that he gave...kekex) for all the birthday presents and treats..last but not least..class 4/3 for that kit kat and the song... :wink: and miss linna and miss kit lee for the birthday greetings.... :D
on the sidenote, went out with wanxin and kengsiang to bugis, they bought me a lighter and treated me lunch-cum-dinner at seoul garden's..wanxin and me ate until we couldn't walk..and keng siang was such a big eater as far as we knew. He got the soup and charcoal refilled and decided to have a second round..and that was when i've gotten myself a new nickname..CORNIE..was what they called me..
in the midst of the meal..we saw amanda and gang through the glass panel..jingyuan was there as well...haha..can't believe it...an hour ago..we were chatting on the net..the next hour, we bumped into each other in bugis..and that explained why the world is so small especially Singapore...After that, we walked around the shopping mall and walked to parliament house,then to peninsular plaza where we parted off there..then i decided to walk myself to clarke quay before making my way to the bus stop...hmm..never knew that clarke quay has changed so much..with the bungee jump and stuff...thou' i was all by myself, the walk was pleasing cos it's windy in the evening and all the lightings under the darkened sky..
okay..should end here for now..once again..thanks to all for the memorable birthday..=)
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| withering leaves from a tree... |
| 02.12.04 (4:55 am) [edit] |
my auntie called my mum to inform her that 'grandpa' has just passed away...well..not my real grandpa thou..he was my maternal grandma's neighbour..
i still reminiscised the days when i always go to his house, watching tv and play with his grandsons' toys.
Whenever my mum scolded me, i would run to his house which is only next door, and he would always open up his always-filled-with-goodie s fridge and give me sweets or chocolates to pacify me..
He would also keep a photo album of me...photos when i was a baby, a toddler, kid, and even until now, though i did not frequent there as much as i did in the past, i would sometimes pass by there and wave a hi and he would also come to us and ask about us..
When i saw him wheeling his wheel-chair on a saturday afternoon last year, i was bitter, i didn't ask what happen nor did i ask him how he had been...his haggard and pale face really did make my heavy-hearted...
I was bereaved upon hearing the news that he had passed away..I couldn't do much..i couldn't flock down to toapayoh...all i can do was to feel sad and regretful..
For a second, i felt this was regrettable for i didn't visit him for a long time, didn't ask about him...whenever my mum asked me to go over, i would excuse myself by saying that i promised to visit him next time cos i'm busy doing my stuff...
For now, i can only reproach myself for the
procrastinations, the excuses and withholds..
'Does it really cost me so much time to say a hi? Is my work more important than saying a hi to a man who looked after me when mum and dad were away, who gave me sweets when i was sad, and even bother to ask about me though his movements were not flexible...??
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| a note to all..especially whom i knew.. |
| 02.11.04 (3:00 am) [edit] |
ok..notice that i added my wish list at the side of the blog..?? :wink:
well...those are the things which i would like to get this birthday..especially the [i][b]sea-monkeys[/b][/i] !!! Think they will help me de-stress a little when i got tired doing my work and revision...
so...*hint hint* to all my friends who see this.. :wink:
be zi dong abit ok??
guess i will also be very zi dong abit when your birthdays come...especially to singyan...ur birthday this year will never be the same as last year's..trust me.. 8)
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| i should be more forgiving.. |
| 01.23.04 (10:28 am) [edit] |
phew!! just got back from my grandma's house...today could be considered as the best cny i ever had since 12 years ago..when i was about 3 years old...
i celebrated my birthday in advance today..didn't know that many people turned up..or else i should have bought a few more cakes ( marriot's one sold out..settled for swensen's in the end..sobz )of coz including those that i had no idea who they were..some of those are my cousins' gfs and bfs, and a few long distance relatives...and of coz!!! double ang pows...i am still figuring out who gave me the sixty bucks angpow earlier because no one in my grandma's house has ever given me such a big ang pow b4 ...
ok, the celebration earlier was great except for the part where i was forced to make my birthday wishes.Eventually, i didn't. It was my uncle who helped me did the wishing part...and it was like argh..he was blabbering nonsense all along.. no doubt that they make sense..but this kind of things are way too far for me to comprehend or at least, wait for few years more b4 i wish for such things to happen....he should say things like wish that i get good grades for my studies or things like that...i mean....the things that he helped me wished for can come in later years. In the end, everyone laughed at the wishes that he said...but nvm...he said those to entertain us...he's my uncle afterall...should stop bearing grudges against him since it's the festive season... :wink:
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| happy cny!! |
| 01.22.04 (6:29 am) [edit] |
so..., well, yea...let me reiterate once again..HapPy CHinese NEw YEaR!!! have been saying the same phrase for a [i]million[/i] times i supposed, since yesterday and today...
no, nuthing much happened except hanging out with friends for the whole of afternoon the day before..and then the reunion dinner...dunnoe what's up with my pa yesterday, he bought alot of things for us, there were adidas bags ( though the colours suck..thank you pa anyways ) and caps ( already got a couple of them, but no harm having one more.. ) for me, a branded handbag for ma, and a few bottles of fine wine for my grandparents..my pa seldom spends much money ..when we asked him why did he buy so many things, he merely answered, " just having an urge to buy things for u people..." weird answer isn't it? but anywaes, thanks for the gifts pa :D
oh ya!! i'm looking forward to tomorrow cos it's my lunar birthday..ma's gonna take me to marriot hotel ( i hope it's really marriot as she had promised, dun wanna eat swensen's again) to buy my birthday cake...yoohoo!!! and then take the cake to grandma's place...so there will be double ang paos for moi!!
once again...happy chinese new year!!! :lol:
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| rooted in my mind... |
| 01.19.04 (1:01 am) [edit] |
how i wished i never knew him, never notice him, better still, never realise that he actually existed...just couldn't pull him out of my memory...
We started as friends
But something happened inside me
Now I'm reading into everything
But there's no sign you really like me, baby
You don't ever notice when I’m turning on my charm
Or wonder why I'm always where you are
I've made it obvious
Done everything but sing it
(I've crushed on you so long, but on and on you get me wrong)
I'm not so good with words
And since you never notice
The way that we belong
I'll say it in a love song
I've heard you talk about
(Heard you talk about)
How you want someone just like me
But every time I ask you out
(Time I ask you out)
We never move pass friendly, no no
And you don't ever notice how I stare when we're alone
Or wonder why I keep you on the phone
I've made it obvious
Done everything but sing it
(I've crushed on you so long but on and on you get me wrong)
I'm not so good with words
And since you never notice
The way that we belong
I'll say it in a love song
You are my very first thought in the morning
And my last at nightfall
You are the love that came without warning
I need you, I want you to know
I've made it obvious
So finally I'll sing it
(I've crushed on you so long)
I'm not so good with words
And since you never notice
The way that we belong
I'll say it in a love song
And sing it until the day you're holding me
I've wanted you so long but on and on you get me wrong
I more than adore you but since you never seem to see
But you never seem to see
I'll say it in this love song
sing365.com
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| the first cut is the deepest... |
| 01.02.04 (9:11 pm) [edit] |
I would have given you all of my heart
But there's someone who's torn it apart
And he's taken just all that I had
But if you want I'll try to love again
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it come to loving me he's worst
I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
And I'm sure going to give you a try
And if you want I'll try to love again (tryyy)
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it come to loving me he's worst
I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
But I'm sure gonna give you a try
'Cause if you want I'll try to love again (try to love again)
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest
When it come to being lucky he's cursed
When it come to loving me he's worst
The first cut is the deepest baby i know
The first cut is the deepest try to love again...
I would have given you all of my heart
but there's someone who's torn it apart
and she's taking almost all that I've got
but if you want, I'll try to love again
baby I'll try to love again but I know
The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
'cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed
when it comes to lovin' me she's worst
but when it comes to being loved she's first
that's how I know
The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
I still want you by my side
just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
cause I'm sure gonna give you a try
and if you want, I'll try to love again
but baby, I'll try to love again, but I know
The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
'Cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed
when it comes to lovin' me she's worst
but when it comes to being loved she's first
that's how I know
The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
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| "the plane has taken off, there's no way u can turn back or stop halfway." |
| 01.02.04 (10:27 am) [edit] |
well, what should i say? today's the first day of school, everything went well except for some small little changes. Most of the teachers have changed, our classrooms have changed to the 6th floor instead of 3rd..this is one thing i'm quite unresponsive with...i still use the lifts even though i'm living on the third floor..and now, classrooms on the 6th floor, god..they should build an elevator...
Mr lee(physics teacher) was 'brainwashing' us early in the morning.He kept telling us once and again that this year is extremely important cos it's the O'levels.The way he talked was like preparing us for intensive training which he had it all planned out and ready for war after that....
There's an unseen seriousness in his briefing to the class.We had to put aside some things that were seen unimportant for the time being for the 'war'. 10 months seemed long but wasn't infact...instead, this short period of time could let us see our ownself discipline,our will and whether we take our future seriously....
ok...anyways..school has been quite well so far, hope everything's getting better as the days pass by.. :)
timezone faulty, correct time 2.27am saturday
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| happy new year, pull your ear |
| 12.31.03 (10:54 pm) [edit] |
first and foremost, i would like to wish everyone a very happy new year!!
a new year marks the beginning of a new journey, another phase of our life which eventually leads us to decide what paths we're gonna take...
i hope we will all let our pasts behind and look towards what is infront of us and with that, best wishes and god bless
i hadn't really given much thoughts about my new year resolutions actually cos i think it didn't really matter that much. Every year, i ponder about them but in the end, didn't really fulfill them..so i implore myself that i would really take this year resolutions seriously cos this year is really a very important year..
so..here goes,
not be a slacker anymore
revise my work frequently
have more committment to cca ( even though for only a few mths this year )
be contented and happy with whatever i have currently( cos i never knew when i would be leaving the world any minute..TouchWOod!!)
study harder for my O'levels....
guess that's for now and wishes we all make the best of 2004...gotta go finish up my homework!!
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| EVERYTHING GONE |
| 12.31.03 (4:49 am) [edit] |
I LOST ALL MY ANIME PICTURE !!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM GOING CRAZY
First time write in the blog. haha
by:dark messenger
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| have i done my work??? no... |
| 12.30.03 (1:42 am) [edit] |
the year is coming to an end soon, and I have not finished my homework!!!! and school is reopening this week!!!Oh GOD!!!!
I was happily relaxing infront of the telly, eating my chocolate despite my sore throat and then my handphone beeped. It was gladys. I didn't realise that there's much more than i had thought of after her call, a history test and physic test coming up after the holidays and i haven't even finish my English...shucks!! feel like risking a little by not doing my work...maybe who knows..the teachers might forget that we need to hand up the work by then...
Anyways, i've chatted with gladys after that, and found out that she's actually not bad...never knew that we had quite a bit to talk about ...
my throat's sore... :(
timezone faulty, correct time:5.44pm tuesday
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| yesterday and today |
| 12.24.03 (2:19 am) [edit] |
been feeling bad these few days especially yesterday..
d'lighthouse was opened up for the sec one registration..and got chidded by wan xin.. :( because i was not doing my job and at the same time, joke around with jerome and came up with 101 reasons ( or rather excuses) why didn't i behave myself, why was i not myself that day, why didn't i do what i was supposed to do...these were not all, the worst thing was that we were both giggling behind her while she made her speech, laughing at her english and things like that...and we had a debrief at the end of the whole thing,i was to comment on her and i said no comments ...actually i've got one thing to tell her and that is, her smile,abit fake though, didn't dare to comment on that cos i made her quite fed up with the things i've done...sorry wan xin :( i'll try to improve and be more assertive and be more zi dong (initiative) the next time round... :wink:
One more thing, i made a lie, a big fat one somemore. Mrs Tai asked me whether i did my homework, i said i did....and she said put them on the table if u are coming back after christmas..and then there's mr ong, he asked me if i had done anything during the holidays..i said yes..did abit of homework..and he replied u better do..next year O'levels ..i was like,'GOd!!! 2 teachers in a row...telling me the same stuff..and now school is opening soon, still dun feel like moving my hands to lift my pen...should have told them the truth...
today's christmas eve..had a scrumptious lunch and had been shopping with my ma the whole day.Lotsa ppl everywhere, buses and trains were full,restaurants and coffeeshops were packed, Orchard Road was congested, Tangs and Metro were crammed, mY stomach's bloated..hehe
timezone faulty, correct time : 6.20pm
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| tired and abit uneasy... |
| 12.16.03 (11:10 pm) [edit] |
i'm fagged!! Just got back from sentosa chalet and feeling a tad feverish and a bad throat, had these symptoms since last night. GUess it was probably i was out into the heavy rain, my clothes were soaked and i didn't change into dry ones immediately and was bbq-in last night even though my throat's abit hurt...
We went strolling on the beach late last night.I felt creepy when i thought of what my friend has told me about his relative's experiences while on the beach especially in the late night where it was all dark, the sky and the seawater..I couldn't sleep well last night because of the person's snores beside me and my bad throat that make me insomniac..i ran into the toilet the moment i got home. What to do...i don't fancy using the toilets in the chalet so i waited until when i'm home..felt so relieved after having been sit in the 'comfort room' (a name i made up to call my toilet) for a while...Bet i'll be lying in bed till dinner time after i've finished this...
Timezone faulty, corrected time: 3.09pm Wednesday..
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| stuck between 2 Cs.. |
| 12.15.03 (9:06 am) [edit] |
received a sms from ellin just now to inform me of the westlife concert tomorrow. sob sob...how i wished i could go...but i'm stuck!! i've promised my friend to help her out in the morning and that's when the concert starts exactly the same time!!!! LIve telecast directly from the UK...i wished i could split myself into 2.....
timezone faulty, corrected time:1.08am
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exTraS
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